When I type a username and password into the small rectangular adjacents, I am "connecting" with the rest of the cyber world; GMail, Facebook, Twitter, Amazon, BlogSpot, etc. where the Internet used to be an evening pastime before licenses were issued to our adolescent procrastinating minds... Escaping from homework, responsibilities, reading, quality time with family, we were connecting with our friends via AIM and MySpace... And in doing so disconnecting from the reality that our lives were moving faster than we were.
I wasn't ready to learn, uninterested in the concept of self education. And now, here, a senior undergraduate, totally frustrated with myself , feeling left behind in a way. Feeling like I have missed out on something, even though I have the rest of my life to get it back. I guess it's just hard to initiate that sort of self motivation.
I saw a movie recently, The Words... The writer is frustrated, he feels he will never live up to par with who he believes he should be. I feel the same way, like my words just aren't good enough. Of course that's why we have iPads and computers and thesaurus.com... But I feel like I'm cheating. Like I don't have to work as hard at it, so if it isn't my vocabulary I feel even less adequate as a writer to write it.
Of course, there is always a balance amongst these things, that I know many individuals achieve daily. It's also a series of habits, that I feel so far behind in I wish I could just hide out in a library for 3 years from the rest of the world, the world of connection and distraction...
I wish I could disconnect to come back to society in 3 years with billions of pages read and reconnect, only on a slightly higher level. I'm ready to learn I just feel like telling society to hold up a minute, I'll be right there.
I wasn't ready to learn, uninterested in the concept of self education. And now, here, a senior undergraduate, totally frustrated with myself , feeling left behind in a way. Feeling like I have missed out on something, even though I have the rest of my life to get it back. I guess it's just hard to initiate that sort of self motivation.
I saw a movie recently, The Words... The writer is frustrated, he feels he will never live up to par with who he believes he should be. I feel the same way, like my words just aren't good enough. Of course that's why we have iPads and computers and thesaurus.com... But I feel like I'm cheating. Like I don't have to work as hard at it, so if it isn't my vocabulary I feel even less adequate as a writer to write it.
Of course, there is always a balance amongst these things, that I know many individuals achieve daily. It's also a series of habits, that I feel so far behind in I wish I could just hide out in a library for 3 years from the rest of the world, the world of connection and distraction...
I wish I could disconnect to come back to society in 3 years with billions of pages read and reconnect, only on a slightly higher level. I'm ready to learn I just feel like telling society to hold up a minute, I'll be right there.
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